you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
