My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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