i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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