I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
