I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
