Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
