look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
