just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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