It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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