If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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