apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
