went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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