Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
