Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize