3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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