Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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