It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
stop calling my apartment porn island.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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