Your dad touched me again.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
