Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
