i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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