I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
