the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
try to milk me bitch
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