ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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