I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
