As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
