he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
