So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
