FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
