then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
