so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We are all done wearing pants today
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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