Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
