they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
