No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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