Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
