I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
