Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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