we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
