If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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