well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
