i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
