turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
