Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
