How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
