The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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