The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
