I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
