Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
