Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Randomize
