NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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