I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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