IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
