The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
