So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
