Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
